


The Horns are the Worst Part

by MoonShiner (SunWeaver)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Gen, Happy Ending, Original Character(s), Pregnancy, Vomiting, Water Breaking, child birth, labor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:09:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26490925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunWeaver/pseuds/MoonShiner
Summary: A baby is born in the Xhorhouse and you can take it or leave it.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	The Horns are the Worst Part

**Author's Note:**

> Before you go in, this is an EXPLICIT birth scene that as I wrote more of, got way out of hand. No I will not apologize, yes I will add tags upon request of them. Thank you.

He should have known it was too good to be true, that feeling of something pressing up into his lungs and making it harder to breathe had suddenly _lightened._ He didn’t get as winded going up the stairs, sure he walked a lot funnier, but having the ability to breathe was the price he was willing to trade. Besides, all the back aching and ankle swelling had been there before. It was just a matter of looking like he hiked up a mountain after just trying to go downstairs and back.

It was too good to be true because by the afternoon he felt the worst imaginable pain that his body had yet to wrought over him.

They were sitting on the patio, Yasha in the process of re-braiding Molly’s hair. He had almost gone and chopped it off in his shortened tempered state, but she not only got him to agree to let her braid it, but taking some of the fresh flowers out of Caduceus’s garden she could decorate the locks with small daisies and crocuses.

She pinched at the portion of hair braided, keeping the hair from slipping loose. Then takes the next crocus by the stem to carefully stick in and ensure the hair held it.

Molly looked out into the dark sky over Rosohna, there was not much to catch his eye except for the neighboring homes and rooftops, but he took the vast darkness in as a chance to meditate and try to “relax” more, as advised by Caduceus.

Then came on that feeling, Molly had come to know it pretty well by now. Every day or two, there would be periods of time when his belly tightened. Sometimes it was awful, getting so tight and lasting for so long, most of the time they were nusances and no worse than an ordinary leg cramp. Hell, Charlie horses hurt worse than some Braxton hicks.

Well, the feeling began, he put a hand to his belly, feeling as it got firmer to the touch. And then, something awful followed quickly after.

Yasha was nearly finished, about to tie off the end of the braid, when Molly hunched forward and gasped, “M-molly?” She worriedly reaches her hands out to his shoulders, feeling them tense.

There was a scream caught in Molly’s throat, one hand gripping at his shirt as the other grabs onto the railing. He feels stuck here, caught in a web of absolute agony and struggling to catch his breath. Molly tries to breathe in, and somehow that just makes it _worse,_ aborting halfway through the inhale and yelping out like a hurt dog.

“Uh-Jester!!” Yasha calls to the doors behind them, her voice on the edge of panic as she tries and fails to console Molly with a hand rubbing up and down his back.

Through the door to the “ _Happy room_ ”, there is a blue tiefling that comes bounding over to Molly’s side, “Oh Yasha! It’s OK! It’s OK!” Jester quickly assures her “Look, look-Molly? Just breathe,” She then tries encouraging Molly to breathe along with her.

Molly’s grip on the iron bars, that round the patio, are white knucklingly tight. His eyes manage to open just enough to peek over at Jester, and if looks could kill Jester would have been fatally wounded.

She caught onto that glare, as she pursed her lips and reached a hand out, touching Molly’s arm and wording out a prayer. There did come a wave of cooling numbness that Molly felt give him enough reprieve to get a proper breath. And yet, no sooner did the magic do its job, did the pain persist right where it left off.

“ **_Fuck!_ **” Molly’s voice strained out, curling tighter over himself.

The next few agonizing seconds would come to pass, his stomach relaxing and finally Molly started to pant and reclaim all the air he dearly needed. Yet, should he take too deep a breath, he could feel that tender spot get pressed on uncomfortably.

“Oh my gosh, Molly, that was a really bad one, huh?” Jester sympathizes, hand petting his arm to show him comfort.

He struggles to talk through trying to breathe, _huff_ “fuckin-“ _huff_ “-hell-“ _huff_.

Jester looks to Yasha, sharing a knowing look between them as Yasha comes around to Molly’s other side, “OK Molly, we’re going to take you to your room now, so can you stand up?”

The guilt of giving her such a mean look caught up with Molly before his breathing did. Lying down in his bed did appeal better than the hard, cold, cobblestone patio, “I ought’a.”

With both Yasha and Jester helping him to his feet, he manages to stand. It’s when he takes one step where he cries out and nearly gives out. Jester’s hand presses to the small of Molly’s back, directing her next pump of healing directly to the source.

“We’re taking it slow, yeah?” Yasha says so with a tilt of questioning to Jester.

“Oh yeah yeah, one step at a time, no need to rush or anything,” Jester tries to keep calm, but even she’s starting to talk faster, showing she’s growing nervous.

“S-sorry,” Molly chokes out, “Don’t… Take any of it personally if I… I’m just in a lot… _lot_ -lot of pain.”

Jester coos up to him, her hand around his back rubbing along his spine, “No no, it’s fine! You say all the nasty things you have to say. Whatever you need!”

He weakly chuckles at that, but even that is a struggle to do as anything that makes his belly bounce or move triggers pulses of pain that shoot down his legs and clenches the entirety of his spine. He relies heavily on the two of them, with each step there is pain, but they don’t rush him. Inching along with him, walking through Jester’s and Beau’s bedroom to take the shortest route in reaching Molly’s bedroom.

Once stepping into the hallway, between the two doors, Molly groans, “Oh gods, not another-“

Jester and Yasha held him steady, in fact, they both shoulder all his weight in this moment where he wants to do nothing but crumple to the ground. Molly’s knees knock together as he grips onto whatever loose parts of clothing his hands were resting on.

“Don’t worry Molly, you’re doing great!” Jester considers giving him _more_ healing, however it only helped so much. There was an unfortunate part in this where she would just be unable to assist.

With each breath, there was a strained sob for an exhale. The pain was persistent, with no breaks as his body was being gripped tightly by some torturous god’s hand. He swore that the pain was causing him to _bleed_ -

Actually, that trickle soon rippled into a _gush_. The fabric of his pants soaking down along his legs and to his ankles, where liquid splashes and pools at his feet. Molly is still in red hot searing pain, but he does gasp at that embarrassing display. Mingled with the clear liquid there is red ink to cloud the puddle and begin to soak his garments.

Jester feels her own knees grow weak, but holds strong as she turns to the spiral staircase, “ **_C-caduceus!!_ **”

In the length of time as Molly’s contraction starts to fade, there are hurried footsteps that come down the stairs. Caduceus appears and looks into the hallway, and his eyes widen as he hurries over to the three of them.

“Bed. Now.” Caduceus says sternly, opening the door for them as Yasha and Jester hurry Molly inside.

Coming up the stairs are Beau and Fjord, both looking concerned and confused.

“You two,” Caduceus calls to them, “We need clean towels, all of them.”

Fjord blinks, “All??”

“Yes.” Caduceus ties his hair back, “Hot water can wait, and if you can inform Caleb, Nott, and Yeza, that would be best.”

“Inform them wh-“ Fjord starts to question before Beau slaps his arm.

“Dude! _Duh?!_ ” Beau then hurries back down the stairs. Fjord then follows behind.

In Molly’s bedroom, Jester and Yasha keep Molly standing as Caduceus strides in and rolls up his sleeves.

“S-still c-coming…” Molly winces out, all too anxiously aware of the trail he’s now left behind him as they are in here.

“Let me fix the bed first, Beau and Fjord will be a minute,” Caduceus makes it to Molly’s unkempt bed, removing the blankets and draping them over the back of a chair tucked by a desk, “Have you been keeping track of the contractions?”

Molly wordlessly shakes his head.

“Um, no,” Yasha speaks up for him, “I’ve been with him, and they just started.”

“And they’re really, really bad, Caduceus,” Jester frets, “Do you have any healing spells, Caduceus?”

“No.” Caduceus states, “Don’t give him anymore.”

Jester blinks in surprise, “Wh..?”

“After the water’s broken, you can prolong labor or cause worse complications if you heal him,” Caduceus warns as he pushes the pillows to the headboard, “The body is going through a process that is going to get worse before it gets better. Healing will reset progress, which can be harmful to both parent and child.”

Jester looks worriedly at Molly, “Oh I’m so sorry, Molly! I didn’t realize I was making it worse!”

A knocking comes at the door, “It’s open!” Caduceus calls back as stepping through is Beau with a pile of towels in her arms, “Over here.”

She takes large strides over, Caduceus picks up a few from the top of the pile and points where she can place them. He layers the bed with a few of them and waves for Jester and Yasha to bring Molly over.

“Fjord’s looking for more,” Beau says to Caduceus when Molly is eased onto his bed.

“Good, give us a minute, Molly will be indecent so some privacy would be appreciated,” Caduceus tells her.

She seems more than happy to take that as an out and runs back out of the room, closing the door after.

As Molly sits on the edge of the bed, Caduceus tugs down Molly’s soggy pants and undergarments, discarding them away from the bed and clean towels, “Jester, can you check his dilation?”

She nods, leaving Molly’s side and rolling up her sleeves, she kneels down between his legs instead.

“He’s bleeding a lot,” Jester comments warily, pressing in two fingers.

Caduceus has Yasha help lean Molly back, she holds his hand, “Squeeze as much as you need,” She whispers to him.

“Thanks mm-angel,” Molly whispers back as much.

After a few moments, Jester pulls back her hand, wiping it off on the towel covering the bed, “Um, it’s not very big? But it’s more open than usual.”

Caduceus gives an understanding nod and looks down to Molly, “On the positive side, you’re very close now to seeing the end of this pregnancy. Unfortunately, this labor may take a while.”

Molly gives an annoyed groan.

* * *

“A while” didn’t cut it.

For the first few hours, Molly managed to hold some composure. It hurt. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to walk or stand. It hurt to sit up, lie down, roll around. Everything hurt. He found solace in finding a position to lie in and staying like that for however long he could. For those first few hours, he managed to get by like that.

After which, with progress slow, they tried to give Molly something to eat and drink. It wasn’t wise to eat after the water had broken, so they stuck with some water and a few crackers. Hoping to conserve some energy.

The result ended with not even half an hour passing for Molly to throw it back up.

That seemed to be the point of everything going downhill. The pain worsening to a degree of leaving Molly seeing stars, the progress being slow and excruciating, and each hour dragged longer and longer.

It was emotionally taxing for Molly as well as for whoever sat in there with him. Yasha stayed for a good portion of it, but on Molly’s decline, Caduceus advised she take a break and clear her head, hopefully to shed the tears from her eyes in seeing her close friend suffer so.

Jester and Caduceus kept tagging in and out, keeping watches over Molly.

The rest of the Mighty Nein would then rotate in and out of the room to try and keep company. Offering distractions by talking or to be that comfort needed. Beau tried to pump up Molly’s confidence, Fjord told anecdotal stories to mindlessly distract, Nott and Yeza cracked jokes (mostly Nott) to get a laugh, and Caleb came around the late hours of the night to read aloud from his book.

And by that time, Molly was reaching new lows, frustrated and breaking into sobs from time to time. Jester’s heart hurt at watching this and not being able to help. Caduceus was practically stoic when sitting in with Molly, but when he stepped out for a cup of tea, he held his face in his hands.

No one really could rest, whether by the fact that they had to stay up with Molly, or hearing his cries through the floorboards made it hard to ignore.

* * *

Jester looked up towards Caduceus, “I… I think I just felt the head!”

She was starting to sound hopeful again, her cheerful energy long since running out hours ago. Now they were approaching “dawn” (the sky didn’t change much) and everyone was sleep deprived.

Caduceus nods, “Then we can start pushing,” He goes to Molly’s head, bunching pillows up under it and his shoulders to give him a comfortable support.

Molly’s head was soaked with sweat, his body putting off heat like an oven and clothes clung uncomfortably onto him. Caleb was the last one here to sit in with Molly, using some papers to make a fan and try to cool his face and neck.

“S-should I..?” Caleb nervously attempts to ask.

“You should probably step out,” Caduceus says, “We’ll take it from here.”

Caleb nods, looking down to Molly and pushing back the hair in his face, wetted down against his forehead. He then leans and kisses Molly’s head, “You have got this, tiger,” Then he stands up from the bed, leaving the clerics to the job.

Molly had surrendered to the suffering, allowing for everyone to ragdoll him around and just desperately pant labored breaths. Each hour, he felt he was being torn open, flayed and lacerated, from the inside out. It was awful. And when crying didn’t help, and yelling didn’t help, he was resigned to letting go of conscious thoughts in hopes he might separate his mind from his body, separate from this pain, if only temporarily.

But now, they were calling for his attention, something Molly was trying to shoo them away from doing.

“Molly,” Jester insists and sits by Molly’s side, “You’re so so _so_ close! You just gotta do the easy part and _push!_ ”

In response, he simply groans, voice already weathered from hours of directing his yelling into his pillows and hiccuping sobs due to pain he never imagined being possible.

“This is the thing your body is already trying to naturally do,” Caduceus says, taking the space between Molly’s legs, “You’ll just need to help it now by bearing down and getting this baby to move down.”

Molly can’t tell apart when his body contracts and when it doesn’t, he might as well be in one continuous contraction, so he takes a few last gulps of air in and bears down. He saw stars from just how terrible a peak he managed to reach here, not even holding out for more than a few seconds before collapsing back down and giving a pitiful whine.

“Molly, that was good,” Caduceus advises, “You just need to hold out for longer, don’t over exert in this one go, it will take you a couple times.”

His patience wore thin as he moaned out, “I just want to sleep,” and turns his head to Jester’s chest.

“You will Molly,” Jester consoles him, “You are really close, I know it!”

Caduceus doesn’t rush Molly, letting him breathe, “Would it help for me to count? I’ll go to 10, and then you can take a break.”

He swallows dryly, and Molly gives a shaky nod.

The next time Molly bears down, Caduceus helps by counting out the seconds.

1, 2, 3…

Molly tucks his chin to his chest.

4, 5, 6…

Jester puts a hand over Molly’s leg.

7, 8, 9…

“...10,” Caduceus says to Molly then falling slack and giving an exhaustive sigh, “Just breathe, and when you feel ready…”

* * *

1, 2, 3…

The next few tries, Molly is frustrated and feels as though nothing is changing, it’s all the same tearing pain that he’s felt for hours.

“ _I-it’s not-s’not c-coming…_ ” Molly huffs, bringing his hand holding Jester’s to his forehead, “ _Please I can’t…_ ”

“No no Molly, you can!” She’s holding his head, “You’re doing so good!”

Even Caduceus gives some comfort through his thumb stroking along Molly’s knee, “We can’t stop now, you’re going to have to keep going.”

4, 5, 6…

Molly’s throat feels shredded and torn from how much yelling he was doing, it began to crackle around the edges from the effort. With every attempt now grower more and more desperate, he tries to push with more of his strength. With how little energy was left, he was digging deep down to muster up whatever was left in him to push down.

It was finally starting to pay off, for better and worse. There was definitely a shift now, this swollen mass was starting to descend down. Along with it though there was an incredible fire and searing white hot agony.

When Molly stopped to breathe, he whimpers out, “ _mm-sick,_ ” and Jester shoots Caduceus a look, he quickly grabs the bowl and passing it up just as Jester puts it under Molly’s chin. There’s not much left for him to give up.

Afterwards, Jester sets the bowl aside, still within her reach.

7, 8, 9…

“These last few could be it,” Caduceus says, his hands covered with blood, are cupped and ready to receive the babe’s head.

Molly feels as though his candle is close to burning into the wax, less bright and ready to extinguish. Jester tries everything within her ability to not just heal Molly and perk him back up. If they were desperate enough, she did advise Beau to have a diamond ready and in hand when she called.

“Once it is out, don’t drop on us yet, Molly,” Caduceus warns, “It’ll all be worth it soon.”

He takes a moment longer than before to gather what last strands of strength he has, he knows once he does it, he may very well burn out and just give in to the growing darkness at the corners of his vision. Giving the ceiling one last contemplative stare, he finally takes in a breath, and focuses on the hardest part yet.

That fiery sting spreads horribly, the pain immeasurably large to how big the child even is. The pain strangles another raw cry out of Molly, he could _definitely_ tell that the baby’s head passed through.

“1, 2, 3, 4-oh! Oh Molly-wait wait!”

Molly incredulously looks at Caduceus, of all the times he is telling him to _wait_?

“ _I-I need-!!_ ” Molly starts pleading.

“I’m so sorry, you just need to trust me,” Caduceus’s words are laced with panic as he holds the child’s head, “ _T-the cord is around their neck._ ”

Jester looks up, “What!?”

“Easy, easy,” Caduceus tries to calm himself more than Jester or Molly.

“ _W-what?_ ” Molly swallows back more of that rising bile.

Caduceus’s hands work to tug and loosen the tightened umbilical cord, new beads of cold sweat on his brow as he tries to not let nerves make his hands shake or tug too fast and too quickly. When there’s just enough slack, Caduceus looks up to Molly, “Last push. I promise.”

Jester looks to Molly’s eyes, seeing fear in them that make her heart sink, “Last one, you can do it.”

Molly picks back up those strands, frayed and stretched, ready to break under the strain. He pushes, and somehow, it’s _not as bad_ . This is the first time pushing has gotten _easier_. So much easier, than Caduceus’s counting is hardly needed. He gets to 3, and then suddenly Molly feels the rest come away. Left in Caduceus’s hands are a floppy little body, which he dutifully holds in one hand as the other rubs their back vigorously.

“Oh my gosh, Molly,” Jester’s watery words just barely come through to him, as she hugs his head and kisses along one of his horns.

The room is tormentingly quiet. Molly feels to be too alive and too aware during it all. He is breathing for the first time without the burden of pain striking his lower back and shooting through his whole body and even to the back of his teeth. His body is still pulsing with waves of ache and muscles seem to still be tensing, not yet realizing the work has been done. And yet, each moment draws on more and more with dread.

Caduceus is now praying, hand still patting the baby’s back and their bottom, even snapping his fingers against the soles of their feet. Looking for something to respond.

Outside the bedroom door, Beau leans against the wall with a diamond in hand. Caleb had taken to sitting against the opposite wall, after pacing had tired him out. He bends an ear to listen for a new voice, it’s still quiet.

Yasha stands on the balcony, the wailing was dampened, but she could hear the worst of the peaks. She waited here and hoped for someone to come get her once there was something to report… And hopefully, something good.

Downstairs, Fjord, Nott, and Yeza took to trying to pass the time with talking and drinking. Keeping a slow, easy pace. They noticed the long pause from any sort of talking or screaming now, and became attentive to the upstairs activity.

In the worry for the worst, Caduceus looks to Jester, “String and scissors.”

Jester looks down at the unmoving body he held and his face, “C-caduceus-“

“Now. Hurry.” Caduceus was rigid.

She eases Molly down, who stares blankly to the ceiling, simply waiting for it to be his turn when his soul should be reaped from his own body. Jester quickly pulls out the string, tying tightly at two parts of the cord and holding up the scissors. Looking up to Caduceus in questioning, he gives her a nod and she makes the cut.

Once there, Caduceus pulls the child in closer, speaking a healing prayer and holding his hand over the infant’s chest.

Finally, the body warms up in Caduceus’s hands, and a little cough is had, which then kicks off the first new screams to come into the room.

Molly’s eyes widen, looking down as Caduceus is wiping the wailing newborn’s face and then quickly wrapping them in a new towel to place on Molly’s chest. They continue their shrill screeches, face nuzzling down to Molly’s skin. There he saw the protruding nubs on the top of their head: _horns_.

“She’s beautiful,” Caduceus finally notes, smiling as tears well up his eyes.

“You did it!” Jester sniffles and grins, coming down to Molly’s side so she can see their disgruntled, wrinkly face.

“ _S-she_ ,” Molly’s voice is broken up, all those hours of fighting against his own body, the ache became secondary now to this little wiggly mass on him. Weak hands come up to rest on her back, hoping to keep her warm through the thin fabric of the towel and console those heart breaking cries.

“A girl,” Caduceus repeats as he wipes his hands and down to his elbows, “You are brilliant, Mollymauk.”

The praise was a little surprising to Molly, he felt through all this he was just left a broken mess, from his voice cracking out to his body feeling destroyed from the waist down. He was pretty glad his view was pretty much obscured from here.

“She’s the absolute cutest!” Jester reaches in to rub the infant’s cheek, who in response turns her head away and carries on her crying.

Yasha hears the door swing open, and she turns back to see Beau standing with a giddy grin on her face.

“He did it,” Beau says as she comes up to Yasha, “And it’s a girl.”

Yasha feels her heart swoop hearing the news, she stalks back through, two stepping to hurry back into the corridor. Caleb gives a tired, yet proud smile over to Yasha, and now she catches the sound of the cries muffled through the door. This little voice even carried through the floorboards as Fjord, Nott, and Yeza would be joining them shortly after.

They gather together, waiting with anticipation over seeing the door open back up. When it finally did, Caduceus stood there with a bundle of bloodied and soiled towels in hand. He does not expect there to be a gathering around the door.

“How is he?” Beau asks first, with Fjord asking in tandem “Is he alright?”

“Can I come in?” Yasha asks then after them.

Caduceus waves a hand to them, “We need for him to finish with the afterbirth. If someone could take these towels and someone else could bring up hot water-“

“I got the water,” Fjord quickly volunteers, steering away from the clump of messy towels.

Everyone else seems to shy away from getting their hands on the towels, but Yasha steps up and holds up her hands, “Here.”

“Thank you,” Caduceus passes them onto her, “When we allow visitors, you can be the first one in.”

* * *

Silence. A good silence finally.

Molly finally was left alone in his room, except for the small newborn sleeping peacefully beside him in her tiny cot. It was brought close enough so he could still reach in or rock the cradle when she fusses.

Having the excitement of his friends come in and meet her was so rewarding. Now instead of pitying him, they got to happily rejoice and congratulate him. It was touch and go for those several hours, but in the end, he truly knew of no better bliss than his friends being truly happy and his own heart overflowing with the joy that came from this new little being in his life.

All that sappy parenting stuff Molly heard of now made better sense. He could see how a parent would feel their child is their whole world after the trial through hell and back they did just to bring them to this world. He was left feeling his curiosity sated on seeing their small, chubby face after all these months. And maybe it's the bias, but he could swear this is the cutest baby he’s ever seen in all his years.

Small, delicate, darling.

The name _Paloma_ seemed to fit her, like a soft _dove_. Which felt like a hilarious contrast coming from such a crass, fool like himself.

Little Paloma made a noise, and Molly’s head would lift up. It was impossible for him to sleep, when she would whimper or sigh, he was alert and ready to scoop her out. Yet she stirred very little. Molly waited for any other signs of her fretting before his head rested back down.

“... I have not the faintest clue on how to be a good parent,” Molly muses, his knuckle brushes her velvety soft cheek, “And I’m sorry for how much I’m gonna screw you up… But I’m gonna try. And I wish that I could do better than that, but I’m only being honest.”

She gives a small noise again, the whimper crescendoing into eyes screwing shut and little hiccups turning into cries.

“Hm, there it is,” Molly tsks and pushes up his sore body, it was an effort for him to sit up right, then more effort to lean over and scoop his arms underneath her. Thankfully, his body was still finding newer wells of strength to help him manage to do all this without dropping her or falling out onto her.

He begins shushing and cradling her. Somehow she fits perfectly into his arms. There would certainly be no one else who could hold her as he did. Caduceus helped to show him how to support the neck for the first time, and since then Molly’s felt like he’d been doing it for years.

With the rocking and the calming voice, she was lulled back to sleep in a short few seconds. Molly watches her features soften again, and now she is content.


End file.
